What a Summer...

I know things don't always turn out how we plan, but, wow. This summer was nothing like I thought it would be.

I couldn't hold my job, I didn't get to see too much of my friends, and I'm STILL sick.

I had an MRI today. After all my doctors visits and all my medicine (which didn't make a big difference), I went to another ENT who actually knows what he's doing. He wanted a scan of my brain to check my nerves there and such, and tomorrow I have a 2 hour test on my inner ear. He thinks I may have lost the use of one of the labyrinths in my inner ear and that's making me dizzy, etc. If that's the case I'll probably need physical therapy. I just hope we can get some closure. School starts soon and I don't want to still be feeling droopy and lazy when it starts.

Luckily, I made sure my schedule was pretty simple.
I have 2 art classes, German, and a creative writing class, then another English class online.

Every day I want to write more and more...but I'm too lazy. My mind can't concentrate, I get dizzy even just sitting, and my creativity is kind of low right now. I'm hoping I can get better after all these tests and get back to my usual, bouncy, self. :)

It's hard knowing I'm leaving soon. I'm ready to be back in my dorm, I have a roommate this year which will be a whole new experience for me! I miss the freedom, I miss the COLD. Man, just a few months up there and I've gotten seriously sensitive to the heat down here.
But at the same time, I know I'll miss my friends and family. I wish I could bring them up there with me. Or, that I could have a quick transport back home if I wanted to just stop in and say hi. Too bad gas is so much and consequently airline tickets.

I keep praying that I'll get better. It doesn't help that my heart still hurts from being broken months ago. That wound may never completely heal, but at least I learned from it. Now, just to heal physically. I'm a little scared to tell the truth. Not having felt well since February worries me, and not knowing WHY is the worse. I kind of downplay how I feel. I really have gotten almost used to being dizzy, nauseus, etc, but that doesn't mean I can deal with it. It just means that if someone asks how I feel I say, "Ok", because I am "ok", until I get a headache, ear pain, etc, and the symptoms just escalate. I don't think there's anything seriously wrong with me, but it doesn't help to not have those kind of things off the list. The results of the MRI will definitely calm some of my nerves. I've wanted an MRI since March, but only this doctor recently has thought it was relevant.

I hate waiting.
And I hate packing. It's like I have to choose what things to take with me, what I need, and I never know WHAT I'll need really. And going through my stuff makes me sad as I remember each objects significance.

I mentioned that my heart hasn't quite healed from a recent break...I'm considering writing a book about it. It'd be easy. I have lots to go off of. :P
And maybe that would help me come to terms with things. Make it a little more...bearable.

Hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for reading.

Chelle