Conversations with My Mom...

Me: "Actually, only two guys have ever asked if they could kiss me."
Mom: "Who else?" (I had already mentioned one)
Me: "Scott."
Mom: "And after that there was another day?"
Me: "Another day? Oh, another date..."
Mom: "No, another day."
Me: "Yeah, people walk up to each other, ask for a kiss, and then never see each other again."

Mel: "I hope I'm not doomed to be like you, hardly date and not even know how a kiss works."

Me: "Yeah, you barely kiss Daddy."
Mom: "He has bad breath!"
Mel: "Well, suck it in!"
Me: "WHOA! I don't wanna see them doing that!"

Me: "I honestly wonder how you had two children without even knowing how a kiss works."
Mom: "God works in mysterious ways!"
Me: "Our dad must of snuck up on her..."
Mom: "No, I plan everything."
Me: "That must mean they only had it twice..."
Mel: "That's gross."